Actually,i just finish read dear's blog.somehow i felt heartache instead of angry her.ihate being myself n i hate myself for talking to her like a mother.nagging her always the do & the dont!i feel so regret for all this.but i admit it is hard for me to change.maybe this is how i care her gua.i wish i cou;d treat her better by being more humble to her.but i just very "jing zhang" her!i hope she knew this.
that day ,we got quarel alil bit,maybe not a lil bit.alot i guess! and this is the first time ever we did quarel so badly.i cried n really feel bad untill today.i regret on telling those stuff , and i knw i hurt her badly by my words.but i do precious our relatinship you see ! i wan the best thing goes to her only,and those bad things,i don mind cleaning up her shit! i wan her to have a better live better enviroment.
i should be more relax to her when i face her,i knw myself been treating her like a lil baby,but i cant help it ~ cos in my life i only have brother but no sister at all.thru out all this year,i really treat her like my own real sister.i might be over reacted n over care her.but wat to do,i feel hard to let go.i knw she grown up alot,n knw how to make her own decision.is not that i don accept her decision,im just afraid she made the wrong decision.
sometimes,when she msg me or something,i might be busy n might not reply her msg.my condition of working,she knew it.and im trying my best to fix everything goes right between us B.E.C ! sometime after my flt,i will forget to reply dear.and there are times,where is hang out with babay,and we din not even ask dear out is becos of "we tot she might be tired after working,n she need to spend time with the bf." so ended up we din called her up.i apologize on this due to not calling her out.i just feel tat is not the right time.Yet,there's nthg to be hiding you see,i admit it babay & i has been contact nearly everyday but not that often like every minute,that one also everytime go out for supper right after i working.everytime i work untill so late,n ngam ngam babay called n ask me i wanna eat alread or haven eat.so i just go out with her n eat .thats it !
but most of all,i miss the time where there is only 3 of us ! without boss,without my fei zai,without yek ! the time where we alwasy hang out in dear hse,everyday called dear see either she have taken her breakfast , lunch n dinner.Cos we are worried.afraid that she will get sick n gastric.and that time dear do not owned a car yet.that was the happiest time i ever had in my life with babay n dear !
and now,she have back her bf,been care n loved by her bf.i felt more "an xin" cos i do not need to worried bout her breakfast , lunch n dinner..! as u knw im working.cant be there 24/7 for her.as for her personal problem,heard a lot from her,btu i can see tat thing are turning good !! im happy for her ...
i wish i could be with her everyday b4 she leave here.i wish i could fly to kch with her on the day she left if my leave approve.im gonna miss her alot.aww *im crying now edi* i feel so "bu se de" ! the feeling is like,my heartbroken when i no she is leaving.day by day,next week she is leaving.my heart feel so confusing.*gawd ! my tears keep rolling down* i really miss her badly ~
anyway ~ i've been blogging too much here~ quite long ler (@.@) like very "ngam cham"
last but not least,to my dear,i love you so much,i rather u speak out then keep quiet always,u may speak for ur own right.i might be harsh but u no my style,after a while im ok.i just need some time to correct that damn attitude.i wish i could still be the 1st one to share ur problem.and i wish that i will still stand number 1 in ur heart *wow so greedy* i knw its greedy but i bloody love it !! i wish u could tell me everything without any secret !
dear im going to miss you badly !! i love you so much !!
some memories of us !! dear i hope you still remember every of this pic here !!
1 comment:
hey babay.. heartache ahhh?? hahahah..*so pathetic ay..LOL.. need it once a while though..its a good training for more problems you need to face in the future~ ANYWAY, i've got the phone!! thanks.
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